This episode is a combination of unique & beautiful ideas I’ve learned through Mediumship Readings, Clients, Friends & some keepsake project I am personally working on to leave for my own kiddos one day.

Whether you have special items your own loved ones have left behind or you never even had the chance to meet them at all, there are ideas and inspiration here for YOU. Plus some for food thought about creating special memories and mementos NOW for those who love you to cherish one day.

Mediumship continues to open my mind and change me as a person. This episode was inspired by Mother’s Day/Father’s Day/ Grandparent’s Day but applies to ANY of the relationships we have or may have missed in our lives; creatively honoring their memory and one day being remembered ourselves.  

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YouTube: Psychic Medium Joy Giovanni

Full Episode Transcript:

Hey beautiful soul Welcome to Spirit Speakeasy. I'm Joy Giovanni, Joyful Medium. I'm a working psychic medium, energy healer, and spiritual gifts mentor. This podcast is like a seat at the table in a secret club, but with mediums, mystics and the spiritual luminaries of our time. So come behind the velvet ropes with me and see inside my world is I chat insider style with profoundly different souls. We go deep share juicy stories laugh a lot and it wouldn't be a speakeasy without great insider secrets and tips. You might even learn that you have some gifts of your own. So step inside the spirit speakeasy. Hey, beautiful soul Welcome back, or welcome in for another episode of spirit speakeasy. On this week's episode, at the time I'm recording it, I am in between that period between Mother's Day and Father's Day here in the US. And I'm really just thinking about dads, moms, parents, grandparents, parental figures, remembering and being remembered. And this episode is going to be a combination of beautiful ideas that I've learned through mediumship readings through clients and ideas that they've done, whether it's something that they did that they really has really been an amazing thing or something that they wish they did, and they regret. And also some things that I'm doing that I'm working on. As far as like remembering and being remembered. I want to put a little, just a little insert here, when Mother's Day father's day rolls around each year, I often find myself retrospective and introspective thinking about myself thinking about my life. As a mom, of course, I love hearing from my kiddos on these special days and thinking about them. As a daughter, I'm often left thinking not only about myself, but the friends, so many of them and clients that I have had over the years that have a parental figure that doesn't quite fit that like parent or grandparent role that greeting cards are written about. So I just want to make a quick acknowledgement. Shout out to all of you how who have experienced this. What I mean here is like many of us were raised by parents or guardians or grandparents who didn't share much about themselves or their life or their emotions. Sometimes this is the way that they were raised like of their time, the silent generation is what I think the boomers are called. Sometimes, maybe that's the one above them, sometimes because they themselves were in emotional crisis or dealing with mental health issues or physical health challenges themselves. And sometimes just because they didn't have the tools to be emotionally available for us. So this episode is not about blaming these people for their shortcomings or for what we needed that they couldn't provide, but rather ideas and ways that we can honor the ones that didn't show up. And the ways that we might want to reflect and kind of do it differently in our own lives. You know, we all will be remembered by those that love us one day. And is there a way that you want to do it differently? I mean, so many people that don't have many tangible items, or memories or photos of their loved ones. So can we you start thinking about that now for the people in your lives, and even some ideas for those who had little or no access to the loved ones that are now in spirit. Again, these ideas come from clients, mediumship readings, and some that I'm currently working on myself. They're both examples of the creativity of wonderful people, the ideas that they did the things that they now regret not having done. And just, it's a beautiful validation of the love that we share, even in the way that we remember the ones who showed up for us the ones that we loved, or the ones that made it possible for us to be here today, even if we never ever met them. So this is the pensive mode that I'm in. And also if you have your own ideas or traditions as we're talking, or if some of these spark like offshoot ideas for you, I would love for you to share them because again, this is part of what this community here is all about you guys, my spirit squad out there to share things with each other ideas, sentiments, feelings so that we can pick and choose what we want to take onboard for ourselves. I've like I said, I've learned so many of these great ideas from other people. I do before I launch into this. I do once again have a coffee and you guys have been asking what what how do I take my coffee, this is coffee sometimes I have tea. It's a little bit early in the morning. So I am a two cup of day gal most days this is my second cup. So this is just a regular coffee I I can't remember the name of the one I use but it's in this like biodegradable pod thing so that the whole thing is biodegradable. It just regular coffee, I take it with two stevia and I have this like sugar free sweet cream creamer that I put a little bit while sometimes it's a splash, and sometimes it's a 123 Splash. So cheers to you. And whatever beverage you are drinking this morning or whatever you're listening to this. Also, you can let me know that in the comments. Okay, so the first idea that I want to start with sharing is an idea that I'm actually doing myself and I have been working on this for more than 10 years as ridiculous as that sounds. It's, it's a memorial book is what it is. This one is called Mom, tell me your story. That's the title of it. The truth is, I got this book on sale at like a card store, I'm not going to name any of the big name card stores, but like a card and gift store kind of way in the back on the end cap in the sale section. I just saw these two books, many, many years ago on sale at a time when I had like no money, they were really inexpensive. They're across the room. And I can't reach them now. But I got to because I have two kids. And this book is essentially writing prompts. And as you go through the book, it's asking questions about your life, about your school experience about your friends in high school about your memories of you know of your adult life in very specific ways that are prompting you to give answers and and share stories that you may not have thought to share with your kids. So this is for yourself as a parent or even as a grandparent, you could do this or as an aunt or uncle or even a sibling or mentor to give to your own kids, grandkids loved ones. So my kids will eventually get this one day. It's it's a lot to write. So if you that's why I'm taking so long to do it. Some of the milestones kind of hadn't happened yet at the time. But I bought these and started them many years ago, some of the things I'm working through. And it's it's a lot of questions. And I'm also trying to make the answers different for each kid in case they wanted to share the books with each other, they could see different answers, not like I'm just making the exact same book for both kids. So I really think it's a fun idea.
You can get them pretty cheap. I mean, we all have Amazon now which I don't even I don't even know if this existed when I bought this book if I'm honest. But you could you could I'm sure find a prompt book like this to order you could even create your own. Some of the questions don't necessarily apply to me, I've had like a bit of an untraditional life and family history. So some of the questions like I don't have answers about my grandparents in certain ways. So you could kind of tailor the prompts and create your own book if you didn't like any of the ones that you found. But there there are premade books out there for yourself. So you don't have to do anything but like write in the answers. And I like writing them in with pen because I will tell you as a little side note, I have met so many people that through readings that comes through that they have either a signature of the person they love or a greeting card with some writing in it or a little note or letter and handwriting is so cherished. It's so unique and individual. So there is something a little bit nice if you have the ability to handwrite it to kind of do that. The next idea is a bit of a variation on this that I created for a previous partner. It was for like a milestone birthday, I was very involved with his kids who are my step kids at the time, he was very involved with mine. We had six kids between us. And so I had this idea to create a form letter. And on this letter, it's again prompts fill in the blank, I had given a set to each kid and it was questions like something Dad always says Dad's favorite food, your funniest memory of dad, your favorite way to spend time with dad. Think just things like that. And I thought it would be and it did end up being a really cool project. I had it printed on one of those websites that prints like photo books and albums. And I put photos in there with each of the kids on their corresponding pages. And it was so cool to see the different answers that each kid gave to the same questions about the same person. And again, it was for a milestone birthday. This person really loved receiving the gift. It's such a personal sentimental gift and things that we don't like I personally never think to ask my kids like, hey, what do you think my favorite food is? I don't know what my favorite food is. I mean, this person. Most of the kids had like the same answer, which was which was perfect. And this person was like a bit of a chocoholic. So it's kind of a family joke at the time. So things like that. It doesn't even have to be with all kids. Like if you don't have kids, or if you only have one kid it can be with like, family, friends, siblings, that you can give this list of questions that you create, and have everyone you know share a memory about that person For a fun time, or if you know something, one of the things I put was like Dad always says, because, you know, we do tend to say some of the same things, or at least to specific people, they're hearing us say the same things all the time. So that was really fun, I highly recommend that idea the person doesn't even have to be passed over. Like I said, I did this for a milestone, birthday. So it's, it's a beautiful gift to give, while someone's still here. A third variation of this that I'm working on doing with my own dad, who just turned 85, a couple of weeks ago. The truth is, we have a bit of a complicated relationship, it has been on and off over really like my entire life. And for many years, I have been able to accept him for the way he is, is what I want to say, his gifts and his limitations, and gratefully take the connection that we do have, although I have some boundaries, and I keep it kind of limited in certain ways, especially depending on I'll say, like, what type of day he's having. When I, when I talk to him, some of you will know what that means in your own lives. But he's quite the character. And I know, I'm lucky to have him around at 85. And in the past few years, my dad's quite a storyteller. He's always told me stories. My joke is like sometimes, at an inappropriately young age, he was telling me stories of his life that even at like seven, I was like, I don't I don't think I'm supposed to be hearing this. The funny bit has been now I've been asking him to share those stories again. And I'm learning that I actually was getting the censored version back then. So now I'm getting an even even more uncensored version. But again, that's my dad, I take him as he is. So you could consider it's like interviewing a little bit, someone that you love, no matter what age they are. And I've even seen people do this with their kids over the years for like birthdays, or last day of school, they kind of asked them the same set of questions. But with my dad, I'm asking him details from his childhood, he grew up during the Depression. I'm asking him he, you know, he had military service. I'm asking him about that time, he had so many just wacky and wild adventures. So I'm asking him those types of stories. I've been even asking him some details for my childhood to kind of fill in some gaps. For me. My goal ultimately is to record the sessions on like zoom, or like a video platform, but my my dad's 85 And he works the iPhone, okay, that I've that I got him. But we haven't moved to video yet. So I've just been trying to make notes. But you can do that very easily. If you have someone whether they're elder or whether they're, you know, just a person that you don't see very frequently in the family that might have extra family stories or details, or just the collection of stories of the family. You know, at some point, my dad's generation he had to he's one of 10 kids. So they had a huge family. I'm the only child and my little family segments. So these stories are gonna just disappear if we don't preserve them. Okay, I'm gonna get off my soapbox about that. So those are three variations of kind of the asking and answering questions that I think are really fun. And people love hearing those stories, and especially something I've noticed with my kids now that they're grown
their stories that they've asked to hear over their life of course, right. Sometimes kids ask us things about ourselves. And it's interesting their perspective as adults, when they hear or ask the same story. They just pick up different details. So it's, it's just kind of a cool thing to have some of these things written down. And who knows, maybe I'm gonna forget some of these stories one day, so I better write some things down. Okay, the next group of suggestions I have, I'm going to tell you a little story. This is about a client I had we're gonna call her Sierra. When Sierra came in for her reading. I was immediately aware of her grammar like right away. Grammar Joe raised Sierra more than anyone else. So when COVID came and her college closed, and they evacuated the dorms. Sierra moved back in with Grandma Joe. During the reading Grandma Joe, who had crossed over to the other side, made me aware that one of the special memories they have is that they would sit on the couch on Sunday mornings during this like period when Sierra had moved back home. And Krama Joe would wake up Sierra on Sunday mornings, clearly earlier than Sierra liked. But she said you know I could. She was saying like I used to wake her up on Sunday mornings and I in my reading I could experience Grandma Joe like in the kitchen at the little tiny counter and I could hear her stirring these two little cups of coffee. She boil the water just for the two coffees in her tiny New York apartment. And then within a few minutes, I knew Ciara would be scuffing her slippers down the little hallway and she'd come plopped down and cuddle up next to Grandma Joe on the couch. Yeah, grandma would already be there drinking her coffee and watching the Sunday Mass. And Sarah would just cuddle right up next to her on the couch and watch the Sunday mass with grandma because if you were at grandma's you were like church had to happen. That was her. That was her belief. And as I was sharing the story that Grandma Joe was relating through the reading, Ciara started to cry and she said that that was one of their COVID rituals, and at the time, she didn't realize how special those memories would become for her. And as the reading went on, I became aware that the only item that Ciara had really wanted of grandma Joe's when she passed away was this fuzzy, oversized red bathrobe. And through her tears, Sarah told me this was grandma Joe's, like quote unquote, church outfit that was their inside joke because she would wear that robe every Sunday while they would sit on the couch and cuddle and watch the morning Mass. Ciara said she did end up getting that robe though, it's like literally the only thing of grandmas that she wanted, she did end up receiving it. And she said that she now wears it herself on Sunday mornings while she drinks her coffee and starts her day. And just having it and wearing it or holding it really helps her feel close to Grandma Joe. So if you can keep something special of your loved ones, or set aside special things for your loved ones that you would want them to have. That's one way to do it. There may be some items that you want to keep as is like the fuzzy robe, like I have other clients that were their loved ones sweatshirt or sweater or, like flannel button up type shirt. So if you have one of your dad's favorite flannels, that's a great thing to just keep as is. But there might be other items that you have that could be made into things like a quilt or a teddy bear or even a pillow. I have recently learned within the last few years that there are amazing artists on that website, Etsy, who can create likely whatever you can think of. So I've had some clients now, when like the patriarch, the dad or grandpa of the family passes away and has, for example, like all these free giveaway T shirts that he received, and they are so quintessentially him, but they don't know what to do with them. I've had people in the family taking each of those shirts and turning each one into a little teddy bear that they can give to the grandkids that already are here, the great grandkids future kids in the family so they can have something that belonged to their grandpa, the patriarch of their family. So that's another way to do it. And like I said, they make bears, they make quilts, they make pillows, anything you can think of. There's a version of this that I'm eventually doing. And it's a little bit different since my own kids were born, which was 23 and 25 years ago, a little bit more. I have been saving in these individual bins for them, their summer, baby clothes, some are like their favorite shirts over the years. So whatever that like favorite t shirt was in the fourth grade that they wanted to wear all the time. I've saved those types of things. And my intention is to ultimately make a quilt for each of them. Which now I am so excited that I will be having someone do on Etsy for the longest time I was planning to sew it myself. And I even for a while was learning to quilt I had someone teaching me how to do quilting. And I'm so happy that, you know, I'm a I'm an artsy crafty person, but I'm so happy that I found other people that could make this for us. So that's another option. And of course, it doesn't have to be with just parents or children you could receive or create a family quilt, which you know, maybe you're going to ask each person in your family to contribute an article of clothing a t shirt, a you know, something that was their favorite for the year, for example, in your family. And you could make a bear or a pillow or a quilt out of that that just represents your family.
There are ways with marker special markers that draw on fabric where you can even have each person kind of write their name or draw a picture on a segment of fabric that then can be sewn into a quilt so there's lots of ideas with fabric that you can do. I also saw one recently a very recently on social media that I sent to a dear friend of mine, where it was a piece of the dad's shirt the dad had passed away. It was a piece of his shirt and the mom when they were altering her daughter's wedding dress the mom had this blue piece of fabric cut into a small heart and sewn into the inner lining of her wedding dress where you would never ever see it. It's like under all of this layers of Kremlin and fabric and there's this heart sewn at the very very inside. So you could also do this you know if it's if that doesn't fit your family frame right if it's if it's not like a daughter getting married, you could also sew a little piece of fabric of someone's special something into like a military uniform or a cap and gown or a man's business suit for his first day of work or, you know, if he's got a promotion, for example, you could sell a little piece of his dad something wade into the inner pocket, for example. So there's lots of things you can do with fabric to help memorialize someone. And I was even thinking about this for those that maybe don't have access to a physical item of the person. You could also whether you do it like at a thrift store, or whether you have something created or order something, you can just find something that reminds you of something that person had either that you remember them having or that you think that they would have of that time. I'm going to give you a couple more. There is this idea that I think is fantastic. That has to do with food as love and recreating recipes. I had these clients I read for their family Jaden Malcolm, and Jade is from China originally like that's where her family of origin is from and Malcolm's from Georgia. And they really do a lot of the traditions in the family from Malcolm's heritage in the south of the US and Georgia. They have some like peach cobbler recipes and jam recipes and things like that. And Jade was actually adopted and came to the States without any of her family and has very little ties to her family. She never met her grandparents, she never met really almost any of her family. And there's very little she has no photos, there's very little history, she kind of knows sort of where she came from there was an orphanage that she was brought from. So she sort of knows a little bit of detail about that. But through our conversation and through her ancestors and relatives communicating in her reading, even though she didn't know them, because remember, we always talk about our loved ones are connected are interested in us based on the love that we share. Even if they never met you for one moment in your life. They still have interest in you, they still love you. So her family came through and validated a few things she had recently done one of those like genealogy kind of like 23andme ancestry, whatever tests that you can do, just because she wanted to make sure that she understood even just like the Region of China that they were from, that's all she really wanted to know, she wasn't hoping to find any ancestors. And she actually didn't none of no one popped up as like related to her. But then we kind of worked out this idea that they have taken and run wild with and it's amazing. So Jade collected some of Malcolm's family recipes from Georgia. And there are some you know, we have the whole area of the South. But even within the individual states, there are some like specific recipes. And then of course, within individual families, there are some specific recipes. So she pulled some recipes that are quintessential to Malcolm's family. And she put them in one segment of this like binder that would become their family recipe book. And she created another segment that are traditional Chinese recipes from the region that her family was from. So she never met her grandparents. Like I said, she never met that ancestral line, that family line. But through the magic of the internet, and her understanding sort of the region of that country that she was from, she has found recipes, tested them, it's become this whole family project, she'll find a recipe, she'll collect the ingredients, she'll do a little meditation to really call in the essence and the souls of her family that she never met, she'll test the recipes on the family and the kids, they vote on what they like what they don't like. And they're making a segment of this family recipe book that is traditionally Chinese from the region that her family's from, so they're gonna have Jade segment Malcolm's segment, and then they're making a third segment that is those fun family recipes that their little family enjoys the things like s'mores and things like that, that they do traditionally within their families and certain holiday recipes and things like that. So that's a really cool way that for those of you that don't have a lot of connection with your family of origin or like your your birth family, for example, or really just never met your grandma, like my grandma lived in the world. I just didn't get to spend a lot of time with her. She taught very traditional from scratch Italian cooking to like, my third, second and third cousins even but I wasn't there. I wasn't around so I didn't get to have that experience with her. And
of course no one wrote them down, blah, blah, blah, but I sort of know where she's from and I could if I wanted to start recreating some tradition Recipes from where she's from. Because it's the essence of that area, that region, those people. So even if you didn't have a lot of connection with someone, you can recreate their recipes, and you can kind of tweak them. If you're a little bit more advanced or want to have a little bit more play with this, I actually did this with that same partner that I mentioned previously, that I did the book for, that person had a very special relationship with their grandma. And their grandma was really like the heart and soul of the family. As far as this person was concerned and made these very specific recipes from their country, this person was from another country. And I, it was interesting, it was an experiment that I did, because I wanted to recreate one of these special recipes, but I'm not from that country, I don't necessarily understand all of the flavors from that country. And I did have lots of the spices because I was collecting them. And it was early on in my mediumship. And I just kind of opened my awareness a little bit and sent love for my heart and and, you know, asked her to come and be with me and help me with this recipe. And I sort of put like a pinch of this and a pinch of that. And there were some things on the recipe that I had found that I just kind of got the sense from her that wasn't quite right, a little more of this, a little less of this, cook this a little longer this a little less. And, shockingly, it was reported back to me that the recipe was like incredibly close to her, it's like tasted just like hers more or less. So if you wanted to have a little bit of extra play, and you had a loose recipe, you can even call in or ask your loved one on the other side to join you, and help you kind of tweak this recipe or create this recipe or even just be with you infusing their love into the recipe as you're making it and then make sure you jot it down. Because that I think is why we're all in this predicament because a lot of the older generations didn't write these recipes down. So the recipe book is an incredible way to you know, food is love and a lot of cultures to share with family. And, for example, I have another version of this that a military family I know has been working on creating. They're all still here, no one's crossed over. So like I said, this can be to honor those that have crossed, but it can be something we're preparing for those that will remember and miss us. And this couple is creating so their military and they've been stationed all over the world, that's sort of how it is with US military, they get moved in station, different countries, different places, even different places within the United States. So the husband is well, they're actually both in the military, but the husband's getting ready to retire. And so as a retirement gift, his wife is working on getting a few recipes from each place that they ever lived that they ever were stationed. And there are places in Japan that they were stationed. There are places in Hawaii, there are places in different parts of the US that have very different cuisine. There are several other countries that they were briefly staying in. So she's collecting a few recipes from every different country or area or region state, what have you that they were ever stationed in. And making a recipe book of that kind of tells the story of the life of their military journey. And we've even talked a little bit about her maybe seeing if she has some old photos from different, you know, times when they were stationed in different places. And incorporating them in the book too, just for fun. Or even like photos of like, I'm someone that in a cookbook likes a photo of like what this recipe is supposed to look like, I'm much better. I've become pretty good cook over the years. But there was a time where I was not amazing. So I like a little photo of what the recipe is supposed to look like. So there's a lot that we can do with cookbooks. And if you didn't want to do a whole cookbook, for example, you could even just create one or two recipes that are written down. And maybe when you have a family party, or if you personally decide, oh, you know what I'm gonna do a friend's giving. That's like potluck style, and everyone's going to bring a recipe, you could bring a recipe that represents your family or your tradition or somewhere that you have lived or some where you grew up, for example. So there's a lot you can do with food as well. There are a couple more that I have. One that I thought was really unique is doing something with the thumbprint or the fingerprints. I have to tell you, this is one that I probably wouldn't have considered. I'm not sure why I wouldn't have thought of it but it just didn't even cross my awareness to do something with a thumbprint or the fingerprint. I'm sure I've heard about this in more than one way but the the one that always springs to mind because it's such a unique experience for me. I was in In a rideshare, probably a lift because that's the one I tend to like better. And I have a bit of a like a personal rule that I don't do what we call ambush readings. I'm not that person who's out in public who's going to stop you at the grocery store and blow up your day with a reading. There's several reasons why not we've talked about it on other episodes. But just as a general rule, it's just not something I do. Well, I got into this ride, share this lift. And I was in the back, of course, and there was a young gentleman driving a car, and I was immediately aware of his dad in spirit sitting next to me. And in my mind, as you guys know, I have these little like conversations of spirit in my mind. And I was like, Yeah, I don't, I feel you. Hello, thank you for letting me know you're here. I don't know your son. And I don't, this is not how I work. Can you get him? Like, maybe I can. Maybe he can come into the office for a reading I don't know. But this is just not how I work. Well, this gentleman was very persistent in the spirit world, his dad, and I was very aware of him. And we had maybe like a 15 minute ride, and I kind of was sending thoughts to him, his dad of like, okay, I feel you, I feel you indicating that this person really needs to hear from you and know that you're okay, but I'm not going to bring it up. So you need to make him bring it up. Like if he brings it up to me, about you being on the other side or about you his dad in any way, I will let him know that I'm a medium and let him know that I'm aware of you and ask him if he's open to hearing some details. But I'm not going to I'm not going to be like the first to announce it. Like you're gonna have to somehow get this young man in the front seat to talk to me about you. And then I will and don't you know, within a minute or two, this young man,
I think I was asking them, you know, I'm conversational. If you guys know me at all, you know, I can I can share talk. So, and I don't like my rides to be awkward. So I think I might have been asking him like, oh, you know, how long has your night going? How long? Have you been driving Uber? I don't know, something like that. And whatever I asked him, his response was my dad just passed away very recently. And I told him that I was going to really try to get my life together. So I just started driving Lyft recently, within the last few months, because this is part of my plan of the last promise that I made my dad. So of course, I was like, All right, like, here we go. So I, in my own way, I'm sure I must have said something like, you know, I know this might sound weird. I have a medium I can communicate with the other side. I'm actually very aware of your dad, would it be okay with you? If I just shared a couple things about him? Is that okay? If you totally can say no, I understand. This is like a strange thing for some person you don't know to be asking you in the backseat of your lift. And he was like, oh my god, I would love that. I've been so worried about him. So I was able to understand some details from the dad. I know he passed pretty recently, like less than six months, I knew that he was diabetic. And he had some additional complications that went along with that I knew his passing was very sudden, I knew that he had just talked with his son before his passing in that last conversation that his son was mentioning, but I knew that the dad, we thought he had more time really is what it is. And then I knew like under your visor, you have a little prayer card that has a photo of your dad from his services. And he said yes, oh my gosh, I do. And then I said, you know, I don't quite understand this. But I keep seeing a thumbprint. I keep seeing a thumbprint. And I know I know it belongs to your dad. I know someone is holding on to it and remembering him and touching it to feel close to him. And he pulls out this like silver. Like it's kind of like a dog tag type necklace like a like a square maybe about like inch and a half sized pendant thing out of his shirt. And he says I wear my dad's thumbprint everywhere I go to keep him close to me. So I remember where I came from. And my my promise to him is essentially what he said. So I gave him a couple more details. He when I got there, he showed me the little prayer card. And he just was like, thank you so much. It's so helpful to know that my dad's at peace and still with me. So which is always the intention of of my work. And it was just a quick little hello from dad. But I loved that idea of putting the person's thumbprint or fingerprint on something. As we all know, every fingerprint is unique. It's it's this one of a kind thing about each of us that's special. Like I said, I don't know why I never thought of this as a potential option. But I know this isn't an option for everybody. But if you are able to get that person's thumbprint fingerprints, if you're able to even get like a handprint a photo of their hand, you can do a lot with that as far as ways to memorialize them. I think it's you know, they even do those I have them for my kids from when they're very small. Those like things that you could take the clay and you just press To the palm into it, I've even seen people do them with their dogs. So if you haven't made paw prints for your, for your little furry friends and family, you can do that as well. And you can do a million things with it, you could make it into an ornament for holiday, you could make it into a suncatcher that hangs on your window, you could make it into a pendant like this young man had done, you can get it engraved into the back of a watch, or, you know, I've even seen someone have it on a ring, like a like a ring have a little I think it was actually child's fingerprint, but had a fingerprint on the ring. So there's a million things that you can do with it. But if you have enough access to that person to get a photograph or a print or a, like a relief and impression of their hand or their finger, do it. That's just another way that you can memorialize them. And it's something really that, you know, we we know that time is not guaranteed, we never know how long we're going to have or what could possibly happen. So it's something that you even could do for your own loved ones, and kind of put in a file that you can have that they can have one day for you. I just can tell you that when I meet people that are grieving, whether their person passed unexpectedly, or whether there was an illness, and we were aware that their passing was going to happen. We miss them so much either way, and we long for that connection. And any way that we can tangibly feel connected to them can be helpful. Whether it's because you have a physical item, or a thumbprint of theirs or whether it's because you recreated a recipe from the region that they would have come from. There are all these other ways to feel close to them. I just have a couple more. So I saw this one on social media, and I really loved it. Grandma's special diary is what it was, there was this woman, a grandma, and she had the luxury of the privilege of babysitting her grandbaby several times a week. And after her passing in her books, they found this little like journal like a little notebook. And when they opened it, they realized that every day that she had watched this little kiddo, she wrote notes about the day to her grandson like a dear diary style, but always intended for the grandson to have. And one of the entries that I that I recall was so sweet was that the baby had started standing and was starting to take its first steps. And the grandma had documented it the day that it happened. But there was something in there to the effect of like, oh, but we won't tell mom because we want her to see your first steps and have this special moment with you. And then like a few days later in the journal, there was another entry that said, you walked for mom, it's, you know, it's out of the secret's out. I'm so excited. You know, it was that kind of a thing. So it was beautiful to see through this grandmas eyes because this little child I think it was a boy was only about 10 When their grandma passed away. And so they had some memories, but they didn't really get to in you know, when they were old enough to remember have lots of memories with grandma. So reading this little journal that grandma had been writing to them or about them, was really just so meaningful and profound. So it doesn't even like I said doesn't even have to be for a child or a grandchild, it could be notes that you write to a best friend that you don't tell them about. It could be something you do for a partner, it could be something you do for students if you're a teacher, for example, or other loved ones in the family. So I just thought that was really special and unique. I actually did start a version of that for my kids when I was traveling a lot for work. I luckily, at the time, there's only one day of the week where I wouldn't see them because I'd like for example, fly out on a Tuesday. So I'd see them in the morning, I'd be gone Tuesday night, they wouldn't see me Wednesday, I'd be home Thursday. But I used to I had these journals and I would write them letters on the plane about what was going on. I wasn't as good as they didn't get very far. Things were a little bit unstable with their dad and I just wanted to be careful about what I what I wrote. So I did end up stop writing for a while. But what an incredible gift that would be to receive from someone that you love dearly, but maybe didn't get a ton of time with or maybe you were geographically removed from how amazing that special diary was. And it's just it just goes to show that it even could be just a few words on paper. These things don't have to cost a lot of money to be special. And even if you only did it on holidays or big occasions maybe you don't have the luxury to like do it every single day but maybe you're writing about big, the big life milestone moments, right are the moments that touched you or something that person did that meant something to you, you gave me a very sweet note today, or you gave me a hug and a kiss. And it meant so much to me. It doesn't have to be elaborate. But these things if we think about them now and plan for them now can mean so much. In the long run, there is an honorable mention in here, which is many of you might have heard of this already. Creating gemstones from that person's cremains the ashes, this is pretty pricey. So that's why it gets an honorable mention, because I do think it's like out of reach for most of us, but I've seen it done. It's beautiful. I even know someone through a reading a client that had put in his will, that his ashes for his girls, his it was his two daughters and granddaughter, his his wife had already crossed over that he wanted his ashes to be made into diamond rings, one for each of them so that they could have it on their I think it was the granddaughter on her wedding, for example. So someone could do something like that. And you can do it with cremains that you might have from someone else. I've seen those done several ways. I've seen it just put in a little simple vial. If you're into that, but but they also will do it now. Are they created into gemstones? Have you ever heard of like lab created gemstones, it just means that they're putting under pressure and with chemicals. Whatever scent sediment is needed to create that gemstone? Well, it's sort of the same premise where they're putting a little bit of the ashes in there, they need a certain amount they tell you on the websites.
And they can do it in a different setting, they can send you just a loose gem and you can set it in something of your choice. It can be pendant, earrings, whatever you like. It's pretty incredible. But like I said, it's a little bit pricey. So that is that is the honorable mention option. And really some of some of this food for thought is just where are you intending to create special memories that loved ones can carry on after you have gone? Maybe you have traditions that you do every year for me, I know with my kids, no matter who was in our lives or out of our lives, the three of us, me and the two of them, really try to see Christmas lights sometime before Christmas every year. It's looked different different years, sometimes we've done a cool little boat tour of a marina. Sometimes we've driven around in the car to a little neighborhood that we knew had lights, sometimes we you know, there's different there's been different versions over the years. So it doesn't have to be pricey. It doesn't have to be elaborate. But it's something that they hold on to now as young adults. And something that means something to them that takes them back to the tradition just between the three of us and the love just between the three of us. So do you have something for it could even be for a holiday, it could be having nothing to do with a holiday that you do. Another thing that I always did with them that's a little different now is we had a tradition that on the first day of school and the last day of school, we would go for an ice cream and they would each share all about their day. Maybe the teacher maybe what happened maybe their hopes for the year and again, sometimes it was fancy ice cream, and sometimes it was McDonald's 99 cents menu, ice cream, like wherever I was at that point in my life. And it's something that really meant something special to them. And it was a way that they both got to be seen and heard. I have a dear friend and one of the things she does to remember her grandma, her grandma was a very traditional woman and she had this she doesn't have a lot of memories of her. She has no things of her no photos of her, no recipes of her. But what she does remember is that her grandma, every spring would do this spring cleaning in a very special way where she opened the windows, there would be a certain type of music playing I think it was like big band type music. There would be certain like scents that she would clean with and just some certain little cleaning type tips that she would do. So every spring my friend does this and imagines you know she kind of lights a candle somewhere imagining memorializing her grandma and does her version of that process with just kind of keeping her grandma in mind as she does it as a family tradition or ritual something to share with her grandma on the other side and like we've talked about if you have been around long enough you listen to the episode last Halloween where we talked about you know the different ways of honoring and memorializing people for sourin or Dia de los Muertos, those type of holidays but you can do this any time of year. Maybe it's just that you wear or carry a little purple pebble in your pocket on days when you want to feel close to your grandma because you know she loved purple. It doesn't have to be something that belonged to them, you can recreate it in ways that just feel special to you, your loved ones on the other side will definitely show up and be part of it, even just the intention is enough for them. But thinking about how can you be intending and creating special memories now for the people that you love that they can carry on, after you've gone that helped them feel close to you, right? Maybe you don't have a spring cleaning ritual, and you can create one, maybe there are some other family traditions or friend traditions that you can create. And it just gives people something to hold on to after we've gone. And it's, it's just really special, these memories that we create at the end of our lives. That's really what people have of us. Many, many people, probably more than you might even be one of these people. But probably more than you can imagine, if you're not one of these people don't have photos or items or are geographically far from loved ones that crossover and they feel a different type of emptiness about it. So maybe that's you and you had that experience. I know I have that experience with most of my loved ones. But it doesn't mean that you can't create special memories, special things, special traditions, here and now to leave for those that love you. And let's hope it's 100 years from now that they're repeating these traditions to memorialize you. But let's create the memories with them now, and let's create the occasions with them now doesn't have to be elaborate. It can be super simple. It could be that you know, once a year, we do a zoom call and we have tea together or once a month even. Yeah, so how are you intending to create special memories, special traditions, or even special things like a journal or a book where you have filled out lots of details or stories about you for those that you will one day leave behind? Let me know your thoughts. Let me know if there's anything that you have done to memorialize someone, whether it's like the bear or the blanket, or maybe you've made special Christmas ornaments out of their shirts. That's another thing people do who who celebrate Christmas, let me know what you've done. Let me know if any of these ideas have like sparked your creativity and that there's a different direction you're going to take them. Or maybe it's really just moved you in a way that you realize, oh, yeah, you know what, I do want to get one of those journals that I can start writing my stories to leave behind for my nieces and nephews for my the next generation in my family who will want our family history or our family recipes. So I hope this has made you feel loved and connected with me. If not. We're a little family here, as you know, I hope this hasn't been too morbid. I don't know. I just think it's you know, so much of my work is about how we love the people that have already crossed over, or how they still love us. So this is just an extension of that love. I hope it's inspired you I hope it's given you something to think about again, let me know your thoughts and ideas. You can email me [email protected] You can definitely leave them in the comments of YouTube or any of the places I post the Spirit Speakeasy podcast. Yeah, just something I'm thinking about as we move through the Mother's Day, Father's Day, Grandparents Day, ancestors day time of year. So I'm thinking of all of you as I do this and just wanting you to have more full hearts and more ways to celebrate and remember Big hugs, lots of love. Bye for now from inside Spirit Speakeasy