(TW: general topics of addiction, overdose, substance abuse, completion of suicide- these are mentioned through stories of a few of my experiences as a medium as shared by "the other side" and shared in the least graphic, most respectful way possible)

At this point, most of us have been touched by addiction in our family or through friends and certainly in our communities. Have you ever wondered what happens to someone when they pass away either from an addiction or after living with an addiction?

The uncertainty can be heartbreaking and may leave us with questions like:
“Are they safe? Where are they?”
“What happens to the on the other side?”
“Do they know what happened to them?”
“Do they know how I felt?” 
“Do they know what their addiction did to the family?” 
“Do they know what we did for the memorial? With their children? That we are not mad?”

All of these answers have come through from souls on the other side in mediumship readings. Through these client stories, I hope to illustrate the answers to these questions and also open your mind and heart to the possibilities.*  

*some details have been adjusted to protect the anonymity of my clients, this side and the other. 

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Episode Transcript:

Hey beautiful soul Welcome to Spirit Speakeasy. I'm Joy Giovanni Joyful Medium. I'm a working psychic medium energy healer and spiritual gifts mentor. This podcast is like a seat at the table in a secret club, but with mediums, mystics and the spiritual luminaries of our time. So come behind the velvet ropes with me and see inside my world is I chat insider style with profoundly different souls. We go deep share juicy stories laugh a lot, and it wouldn't be a speakeasy without great insider secrets and tips. You might even learn that you have some gifts of your own. So step inside the spirit speakeasy. Hey, beautiful soul welcome in for another episode of spirit speakeasy. I'm so happy that you're joining me today. If you are loving this podcast like I am, I would love it if you share your favorite episode with a friend and invite them to follow as well. So they never miss an episode. And hopefully you're following wherever you're listening to this podcast, there's a little Follow button that you can then get every episode as it comes brand new, so to speak. So today, I want to give a little bit of a trigger warning. Before we get started, we're going to be talking about what happens when a friend a loved one someone in our life passes away, either from an addiction or with an addiction. Some people don't necessarily pass away as a direct result of their addiction, but they're struggling with an addiction at the time of their passing. So trigger warning for addiction, for overdose for various types of addictions for passing, obviously, we're going to be talking about that. Now, if you know me, you already know that I'm not going to go into graphic detail about this. So I don't want you to worry in that way. But if these topics, or hearing stories about other people's experience with addiction would be triggering for you, perhaps this is an episode to skip. But if it's something that you want to learn about, stay.
And just so you know, I have great respect for all of the Spirit people all of those on the spirit side, regardless of how they pass away. So today, I'm gonna give you some client stories and illustrate hopefully, what happens, addiction comes in so many forms. And it affects all of us in our current world and affects the individual but also the family also people that might even know this person on a more cursory level co workers, teachers of the children of these individuals, for example. So it has really powerful effect on everyone surrounding the person who's actively in addiction or who's working through addiction. Some people, like I said, pass away as a direct result of their challenges with addiction, whether it's substance or a different type of addiction. And some people live out their lives with their addiction or with their challenge. And again, also various kinds of different types of addictions. So we're going to talk a little bit about that through these stories as well. And clients that come to me that have lost someone who has been in an addiction, they're often asking or hoping to learn things like, do they know what happened to them? Do they know how I felt as their loved one? Do they know what their addiction did to the family? But also wanting to know things? Like, are they safe? Where are they? Do they know what we did for them in Memorial? Do they know what we did with their children? Do they know that we're not mad at them? Now, in a reading, we don't always get the answers that we want as like curious human beings, but the loved ones will communicate what we need what we need to know that what will touch our soul in a way that sometimes answers all of the questions at once. So really through these clients stories, I hope to illustrate the answers to all of these questions and also open your mind and heart to the possibilities. The first client I want to talk about. A group of siblings came in and I was doing a group reading a family group reading for them. And I became aware immediately of this vibrant, incredibly energetic, bubbly young woman. She helped me understand that when she was growing up, she was a cheerleader. She was well loved in her school community and with her friends. She was bright and beautiful and outgoing as a girl growing up and then as she got older More into those later stages of high school, she started to get involved with kind of what we would call Bad Boy types, people who maybe weren't the healthiest, and you know, could tap into being a little bit abusive or controlling of her. So ultimately, she had been involved with someone in that later part of her high school experience. And because of that relationship, she made the decision not to go to college, she had previously been on where I'm from, we call it the college track where she was kind of doing all the things to line herself up to be accepted into college, really focused on her grades and her athletics and her, you know, academic scores and volunteering and doing all these additional things, so that she could get accepted to college. But because of this relationship, she felt pressured to change her mind is what came across to me. The family said, Yes, that's all true. Now, she also became pregnant and had a baby. And ultimately, it didn't work out with that baby's dad. And she decided after that relationship had broken down, you know, she had this kiddo now. And she decided she wanted to go back to school, she really loved school, and she just, you know, kind of redirected herself and decided she was going to go for nursing. And as a part of her study, she first became like a medical technician, and was working at a hospital, gaining confidence back really starting to, you know, feel better about herself, her choices. If you've ever been in or known someone who's been in controlling or abusive relationships, sometimes it takes some time to get that confidence back and remember who you are. She also made it very clear in the detail, she was sharing that she was a really good mom and her family said yes, she loved this kiddo. And really, the choices that she was making, were towards being a good mom and how she could create a different type of life for her and her child. Now, as part of her work in this hospitals, I was mentioning, she they used to call kind of like orderlies or whatever, but she was a technician. So she was helping to move patients like if they needed to go for a scan or something, she would help to move them from their bed to either the gurney or the wheelchair, and one day, helping to assist to move a patient, she actually hurt her back. And she heard it so bad, that she had to take a bit of time off from work. And they gave her some pain meds as she was trying to heal because this was a pretty strong injury. And at the same time, simultaneously while she has this injury, and she's, you know, trying to do her medical treatment, the dad of the kiddo had been getting better himself had been working on himself had been going back to court and actually got like a half time custody situation. So he had the kiddo half of the time. And this really made her depressed, there was this emotion of depression that set in on her. She's working so hard. Now she has this injury. Now she doesn't have her kiddo half the time. And as a result of the medication that they had given her coupled with these emotions that she was feeling, and addiction began. And ultimately, she helps me understand that this addiction shifted from the prescription drugs that she had been given. She had ended up starting to take them at a very high, high dosage every day and needed more and more, as is how it happens with addiction. And she ultimately shifted from prescription drugs to kind of like the street drug equivalent to get the same pain relieving feeling. Now, she shared a tough relationship with her family because of her substance challenge. And she kind of was having this one step forward two steps back experience for several years. And as part of the reading, she let me know all of this. And she also wanted to take responsibility, acknowledging that her family, you know, her parents and her siblings who were with me, never gave up on her. But they really tried to do everything to create some strong boundaries with her kind of that tough love, if you will. And she shared her emotions of regret over not being able to get better not being able to conquer this addiction not being able to be you know, not being able to release her addiction. She expressed knowing that her child was older now that they're doing really well in school that the parents and the family are very involved with the kiddo See, see the kiddo all the time. Take them for you know, weekends and trips and go To all the school functions and all the little recitals that the kiddo has had, you know, in these in these years that she's been gone. So really, not only was she able to share her story about what happened, she was able to share her feelings about what happened, her regrets over the way that it went. And also acknowledge her family and how heartbroken they were how difficult this was for them. She takes responsibility on herself for these challenges. And the siblings after the reading, were telling me Yeah, because they all felt in some way privately in their own heart, a percentage of responsibility, as people often do, they felt like, oh, maybe there's something we could have done differently. Maybe we were too hard on her and creating boundaries. Maybe we said the wrong thing. Maybe, maybe, maybe maybe. And that's often what happens. And part of why she was bringing it is because she wanted them to know, no, this was not their fault. This was this was what happened. But also wanting to acknowledge that even though they needed to make strong boundaries with her, even though there was one of the siblings that had really cut her off from any financial help at all, for example, and at that sibling felt really bad. Because she kind of ended up a little bit down and out. And she was like, No, that wasn't your responsibility. I know that was coming from love. I know you were trying to help me. When, in life when she was here, she had had some harsh words with that sibling. Through her addiction, right? Sometimes the addiction changes the personality. And she was saying harsh things to the sibling who had cut her off financially, really, really harsh words, and she wanted to clear it up with that sibling and let them know, Hey, I know you were doing this out of love, I really understand now. And one of the beautiful things was there was five or six siblings in the room. And she was addressing different individual things that she said to them or different scenarios that that sibling that cut her off financially, that other sibling that would pick her up from treatment every time she went and let her stay there and help her get back on her feet. That other sibling who was always calling and bringing her food and trying to help her that other sibling that was really involved in helping the kiddo. The other beautiful thing that's intertwined in this reading for this young woman is her understanding of what it did to the family this addiction. It's not just a her problem, it ended up being you know, affecting the entire family as addiction does. But that she knew where her kiddo was that they were safe that they were doing really well in school that they were thriving and and was so grateful that her family was so involved in this kiddo. So she obviously is seeing and experiencing this and knowing how much love they're providing this kiddo with. Now, the other thing that's beautiful, and one of the things that evidential mediumship aims to prove, quote, unquote, if you will, is if they are communicating if they know who they are, and they know who you are, and they know what's going on in the family and they have a an understanding of what actually from everyone else's perspective happened, right? The emotions of the scenario they went through the experience they had, it means that they're okay, intrinsically, they must be okay, if they can articulate all of these things from a more healthy a more healed a higher perspective, if you will, a different vantage point. So at the same time, she's articulating all of these memories and experiences, it does also let us know that she's safe, that she's at peace. Yes, of course, she might not like what happened, but she understands now. So it also lets us know that she has healed enough to have an evolved viewpoint of the challenges that she did have, not only how they affected her, but how they affected everyone else. And the beautiful thing is that it lifted, I don't even know how to how to word it. But it lifted something off the hearts of her siblings that were with me in my office. It gave them a bigger exhale that they knew Okay, she really does understand she's not she knows we're not mad at her. She knows that, you know, we did everything we could out of love. She knows that. We never wanted this for her. So just her expressing that she truly understood what had happened, what went wrong, what how she you know, she did want to talk about how she passed away so she did talk about that a bit. And also what was going on now and how much appreciation she had that they were involved with her kiddo and loving and supporting them. So that's just one example. I'm gonna move on to another example that is totally different. because like I said, there are so many different life experiences. And while there might be similar threads with people who have experienced an addiction, or a substance challenge, or, you know, addiction to anything, everyone's life experiences a little bit different, that the next example I want to share is my client in spirit. My spirit person that was communicating was an older gentleman, he was a dad, he had been a husband at one time. And it was his son, actually, that was receiving the reading. And he made me aware that he was alone at home when he passed away, and that his siblings, son, and he also had a daughter that wasn't present. It was the daughter more than the son that was having a really hard time in her emotions with guilt for not checking on him the day that he passed away. Now, he also let me know as a part of the reading, that he was an alcoholic in life that that was his challenge that he experienced. And that perhaps there were also layers of some mental health challenge that went along with this. And the alcohol was his attempt to self medicate and also just a substance challenge that he experienced. But because of these emotional challenges, and this alcohol challenge, there was a time when these now adult children were growing up, that he was very unpredictable, that he could be very mean that he could get very angry that he could behave in a very aggressive way. And my client, his son was saying, Yes, that was true. And it was a very, for the Son, it was a very scary part of his life with dad. And dad was taking responsibility, saying I understand now there was a different way to do that. I understand now, from the other side, how much that hurt you how much you needed me to be a different Dad, how everyone was on eggshells all the time around me. So he was really sharing that history, to show that he understood the challenging part of who he was in the family in the world. And how, because the parents had separated, he also shared that, you know, the parents divorce, he and his wife, the kids mom had divorced. And he took responsibility for that saying, you know, no relationship is perfect. But he also indicated that
the he the way he gave it was that that the divorce, the breakdown of their relationship was mostly his fault, because of his behavior, because he was emotionally and often physically unavailable, due to his challenge with alcohol. When he would come in, he would often be angry. And then as he would drink through the evening, he would get more angry, more belligerent, more unpredictable. And so he he said, you know, of course, my wife didn't deserve that behavior. And of course, that led to the breakdown of the relationship, which really made the son feel good and feel like, okay, my dad does truly understand what happened in his lifetime. Now, he shared that sight of his challenge. But that wasn't the bulk of the reading. Actually, the bulk of the reading was his sharing about special trips that he took with his kids with his family, they did these amazing road trips, kind of exploring the US exploring our country here. They went camping and hiking, and he would make it a point when he was feeling good and strong, because there was an up and down in his struggle with alcohol, there were times where he was a stronger, healthier version of himself that they remembered. And then of course, you know, that's how the cycle worked in his world was that there would be times where he was strong and healthy. And then ultimately, he would slip back into this more challenged version of himself until his late 50s or early 60s When he, you know, really tried to give up alcohol, more or less and was barely drinking in the last phase of his life, but really wanted to share positive memories of these kinds of like outdoors and then trips that he would take with his son and daughter and would carve out special time where sometimes it was a lone camping with the son and doing fishing and teaching him outdoors things sometimes it was alone with the daughter sometimes it was them together. And they had such wonderful family memories he even joked about the like family songs that they would sing and on these road trips and the station wagon that they had and, and really was sharing how much he loved these memories and loved these parts of his life. And I could feel the sun kind of lifting in spirits and saying, oh my gosh, those were such amazing times I have such wonderful memories, and he let me know there was so much love in their relationship. And that even though there had been some dark times, there also were some really good times. And the young man that I that I was working with my client was saying, yeah, it was really hard for him to reconcile these beautiful, amazing, like, couldn't ask for better memories with dad and also this other side of his dad and how challenging it was. And it was just so wonderful that dad was acknowledging all of this and, and kind of taking responsibility for the challenging sides, but also reminiscing Dad and son. And sometimes daughter would do these, like, research these different hiking trails and different hiking trips that they wanted to take and would kind of map it out all together. So it wasn't just the trip itself. It was the prep, it was the practicing it was the setting up the tents in the backyard to to teach the kids how to do it. So there was all of these really wonderful, positive memories, and some of the guilty wanted to lift off of his adult children was this feeling of particularly like I said that the daughter who wasn't present, that she just had been checking on him a lot. Because of his challenge with alcohol, he had a breakdown in his liver in his kidneys, he was unwell. But he was well enough that he lived alone that he didn't need medical caregivers. And she just happened to not check on him that day, and he passed away. And she had a lot of guilt. Because, you know, they had kind of thought, well, if we checked on him, perhaps something would have changed, we would have known sooner and dad was just sharing from the other side, you don't need to worry about all of that. It wouldn't have changed anything. I'm fine. I have no anger animosity, that he didn't want them to feel bad or any kind of way for not, you know, checking in on him that day that it's just the way it was and it was okay and that they didn't need to worry that he was home and by himself when he passed away. And it just was lovely spending time with him and his son. Like I said, my client just felt like it was so wonderful that his dad had all of his positive memories back as well. So obviously similar things are woven through this reading dad, because he was communicating all this was clearly safe, clearly at peace clearly, okay. But also really understood not only what his substance challenge with alcohol did in his own life, but how it affected his children, how it affected the positive memories that they had, how conflicted they were about these two sides of him, and really just wanted to touch their hearts and let them know, Hey, I'm still with you. Hey, I know. Because the mom and dad, the dad had shared that the mom and dad never really found a friendship again, it was there was there remain some animosity between them and just him taking responsibility and saying like, yeah, that was that was mostly my fault. No one's perfect. But it was mostly his fault is what he had shared. And it just was so relieving for his son, my client who was still here in the physical world. And so it just let him the way he shared it with me was that let him have a level of peace that he didn't have before the reading because he was able to understand that his dad really did truly understand all of the challenges. But his dad really did know that the people he left behind in the world did also maintain these wonderful positive happy childhood and growing up memories of him. The outdoorsman bit the hiking, camping, the all of those details that he shared, because the son, you know, had a bit of a challenge relationship with his dad and the later part of Dad's life. And that's why the daughter was the one checking on him is what dad shared from the other side. And so the son was relieved because he said I didn't my dad and I weren't on the best terms. When he passed away. We weren't really, we weren't really talking, there was distance between us. I didn't get to say goodbye. I didn't get to say all the things I wanted to say. And with what the dad shared from the other side, Dad was letting him know, Hey, it's okay. I know that you now are able to have these fond memories of me. I know how my active addiction and my not willing unwillingness to address my behavior and my anger changed our relationship and I don't want you to feel bad about that. I want to take responsibility for that. So for me, it's so incredible the different perspective that they're able to have when they're on the other side that they're able to see all the sides of the equation all the sides of the relationship. And it really gave his son my clients some things to think about but gave him so much peace. And dad also was able to share err that his son had been thinking of him had been going out hiking on his own and really kind of sending, not verbal messages. I know we've talked about this and other episodes not verbal messages to dad, but kind of love from his heart and motion from his heart had been thinking about him in his mind when he was doing these hiking trips. And dad wanted his son to know Hey, I know you're going hiking, I see you I go with you. I hear you. And your thoughts, even though you're not saying it out loud to me. I feel the emotions, I feel you reminiscing I feel you wishing that our end time together could have been different. I feel you having regrets that you didn't get to say goodbye. And I don't want you to worry about that. Because dad was sharing. I'm on these hikes with him. And I'm right beside him. Because he said sometimes when he's hiking, well, Dad shared I was aware that my client, his son, sometimes when he was hiking would have memories of hikes that they did together, or would they go, Oh
my gosh, my dad would love this trail, this would be exactly his favorite type of trail. And dad wanted him to know, hey, I'm with you. In those moments I'm right with you don't think I'm missing out. Don't think I don't know that you've grown and changed in your emotions, that you have different feelings about our relationship. So it was just a really beautiful reading and dad and Spirit did a wonderful job. And again, he let him know so many different things with what he did share. And there was healing that happened as a result of what dad was able to share because that healing didn't get to happen in the last part of his life because of the breakdown of that relationship. So it's always beautiful, the healing that can happen through the mediumistic communication that they can share what we need what we deeply need, from the other side, to help lift those burdens from us to help heal things we didn't understand or regrets that we have. Now, like I said, it might not always be all the things we want to hear or know about, but it's what we need what our soul needs. I'm going to shift gears and give one last example. Now, this next example, is a tough one. But equally beautiful. This is a different type of addiction, this client in spirit, because I always joke and say the spirit world are my actual clients, even though my clients in the living count to the spirit world or my actual, that's who I work for is the spirit world. So this young man in spirit, it was his wife, his partner, that was my client, I didn't know that she had lost her husband. But once she sat down and I started working, I was immediately aware of him. And he shared that he had a challenge with gambling in his life that he had this gambling addiction, and that the wife didn't know about it, that it was a secret. It was a big secret. And the way I became aware of it as he was sharing that, even though there was so much love in their relationship, and they had a wonderful friendship and a wonderful partnership, he would sometimes go on these like business trips, and be gone for a few days, or he would just sometimes disappear for hours at a time or would be in his phone. And there was times she was thinking, oh man, Is he is he having an affair? Is he seeing someone else? And he said No, actually I was I was gambling, I was placing distance bets with like a sports book or a bookie type of a person, a person who takes, you know, illegal bets for sporting events. I don't condone that at all. But that's what happened. Right? People it's, I don't have any judgment for the life they had. When I'm working with them. It's just this is their story. This is what happened. This is what they want to share. No judgement about right and wrong. It's just the facts, right. So he was really struggling with this gambling addiction that he had, he was spending so much money and the partnership that they had, though, the wife really didn't handle the finances, the husband handle the finances, my my client in the spirit world. He was the provider, he managed the accounts, he paid the bills, he did all of the things. And the wife, it was kind of traditional roles even though they're they're younger, she took care of the home and and did more of that she had a job but the money she made you know, she just kind of turned over into the into the account and the husband took care of it and took care of everything. And he actually passed from completion of suicide. So he shared that he wanted to take responsibility for ending his own life in the physical worlds, but that he was still with her. And it wasn't until after his passing which in and of itself was so shocking and heartbreaking and left her with so many questions and so much hurt and so Oh, much wondering about, you know, could things have gone differently? What happened? Why didn't he talk to her? Why didn't he try to resolve this? She had some anger that he let me know about. And he wanted her to know that it was okay that she had some anger about the situation and anger that she found out his deep dark secret is the way he gave it, he kept showing me a secret in a closet. And just let me know that what had happened was he had dipped into the retirement that he had, he had a good job. So he had kind of whatever the retirement plans are, he had some of those. And not only was he dipping into their savings, but he dipped into the retirement, he took some loans out on the house, he had signed over his car to someone kind of in a pawn way where he got to still drive it, but signed over the the note the car note. And he just, he articulated that he just felt so underwater with it and didn't want to destroy his life's his wife's life or the family. And so at the time, that was the way out that he saw for himself, that he realized now from his perspective, on the other side, that there could have been a different way that he does understand he could have shared it, and it could have gotten help for this addiction. And that things could have potentially changed. But he wanted her to know, it was nothing she did. It wasn't that he didn't trust her. It's that he had so much shame and guilt and sadness. And he also wanted to validate her emotions and say, you know, that he was so sorry that she only found all of this out after his passing. And he did share that she was able to work it out, where she was able to keep the house. Of course, the funds that were gone from their savings and retirement were gone. There's nothing that she could do about that. And he did want to touch her heart and let her know, hey, I know that there are so many convoluted, messy muddy mix of emotions for her. She was devastated at the loss of her partner, they were fairly young, they were under 40. She did feel frustration and anger, and was upset that he had lied to her and was upset that he completed suicide, and was so brokenhearted and SAD and MAD and confused all at once. And he really wanted her to understand, first of all, that it was okay that she felt that way. Because then sometimes when she would feel mad, he was sharing from the other side that not only does she sometimes feel mad at me when she's dealing with all of this and finding out you know, more and more as time went on. But then she feels guilty for feeling mad. And he said, You know, I want her to know that. It's okay for her to feel mad, she has every right to feel mad. And that he understood from the other side that it didn't mean she didn't love him just as deeply and passionately. But there were some things in here that she had a right to be mad about. And he also shared that, you know, his his very unexpected and tragic passing was so surprising for everyone in his life that no one really had any idea about this, but not his and he was very well respected in the community. He was well respected by co workers. He was in his family of origin kind of that
son who was the good son, right and did all the responsible things and made responsible choices on the outside. But this was his personal deep, dark secret. He thought this this shameful gambling addiction is is the emotion that he shared with me. And he wanted her to understand that he was sorry. And that he had heard and felt and experienced the things that she was saying to him, even though he had already crossed over. He shared that he wanted her to know that he understood and knew that she had started some counseling for herself some therapy, and he was so happy. And he was so happy that she was getting support and reaching out to have support in ways that he didn't and felt he couldn't do in his life because he didn't want to disappoint anyone by letting the secret out, but was so so happy that she was seeking help that she was seeking support and wanted her to know that it was okay to share about what happened. It was okay to tell all the secrets and get the support she needs and find the healing. He also shared that this at the time of the reading this passing was like fairly recent, like less than a year and I actually think it was even less than that. I think it was under six months. And I had worked with her a couple times over over a couple year period but This feeling of like, you know, when she's ready, it's okay for her to move on. It's okay if she doesn't want to keep that house because she finds it too painful. But he also shared that there was this mix of emotions, like I said, Where, in some way she felt that this house was her last connection to him, because this is the home that they shared, this is where so much love had happened. But he shared that she also was feeling like her life in some ways she felt was a lie, because she understood it on face value and the love that they shared. And they didn't really have disagreements, and they got along well, and he was kind and loving. And he was a lot of fun. And they like to do all these other things together. And they loved dancing, and they loved playing music in the house. And they were working on this house, it was a house, they got that they were kind of fixing up together over time, it was already reasonably nice. But they were you know, making changes and doing things and always working on this house. It wasn't a brand new house. So he let me know all of those things as well. And he said, you know, a shared from the other side is not really said, you guys know how I am about wording. Frustrated that it's not exactly right. But it's the emotion from him of, it's okay, if she wants to keep the house, it's okay, if she wants to make any changes that she desires. Or if she wants to go along with the plans that we already had, they had drawn some blueprints together and had them created by a professional for an addition they wanted to do for some changes to the house. It's okay, if she wants to go through with those. It's okay, if she doesn't, it's okay if she wants to sell. And all of those bits of information that he was sharing meant so much to her because she felt so torn and so stuck and backed into a corner, like he had made all these choices without her. And all of this was dumped on her after his passing. And she didn't know what he would want her to do. She still loved him so much. Even though at the same time, she was mad about all of these things that she was finding out. We're complicated human beings. Our emotions are complicated. And it was so beautiful that he could just unravel those threads and share with me. So I could share with her that he knew about all of these feelings all that he left behind. He also did give apologies to her for the way that he passed. And apologies that he didn't seek help, because he also shared that he felt like on one hand, he didn't want to lose her by sharing this and didn't want to disappoint everyone, but also on the other hand, knew that she loved him so much that he understood now that she would have been willing to see it through with him if he was truthful and honest, and was getting help that she would have stood by him. So he also was able to share through this communication that he was safe and at peace. And right on the other side immediately that he didn't get sent to some bad place didn't get sent to a faraway place where he couldn't be with her couldn't understand her experiences, even though he wasn't physically here anymore. And even though of course, she still is grieving, of course, she still is going through all of these emotions, due to not just the loss of him, but everything she found out after his passing. In some ways, there still was a weight lifted off of her that okay, he does understand, okay, he does know what I'm going through. And not dissimilar to the last example I gave, sharing about the whirlwind beautiful love that they had, and how she was his true love. She was his sweetheart, so to speak, and really just talking about, you know, the special songs that they shared together and some of the tender moments that they had in their home, and some of the fun things that they like to do outside of a home. So because he had all those memories, it helped her to understand that okay, just because he completed suicide, just because he was struggling with gambling addiction, doesn't mean that he's being punished doesn't mean that he's a bad person just was challenges that he had in his life. And it gave her to some degree, a little bit more permission to actually feel the feeling she was feeling and to fully process them. Because he was like I said, he was saying it's okay that she's mad. She has a right to feel the way she feels. But that's it. He's happy that she was processing them with a professional. So what I experienced as a medium from all of these readings, often the people in the spirit world helped me understand other aspects of their personalities and lives to not just the way they passed away, not just the challenge or diction that they had in life. But all the sides of themselves were multi dimensional. And what I mean by that is, we're not just one way, yes, in these examples, all of these people who had crossed over to spirit had some sort of addiction challenge in life. But there was more to them. That first young woman I mentioned, was a mom, and a loving mom, and was trying to do something wonderful with her life, moving it towards nursing and was helping patients and had a vibrancy to her and a family that loved her. The second gentleman, that older gentleman had all of those memories of doing outdoors activities, and road trips, and camping and hiking, and all of the happy memories that he had also, that last young man with a gambling addiction, who took his own life, had all of these wonderful memories and experiences to share about his young love and about this home that they were creating together and the blueprints and the changes and the the things that they wanted to do and the dreams that they had, were more than just the challenges that we have. So I love it, that they're able to share with me not only the challenges, but the emotions that they have the understanding that they have now from the other side, and the other aspects of their personality. Besides just the challenge. I also want to share before we go, what I understand, as a medium happens when someone who passes with an addiction experiences whether they pass away as a direct result from that addiction, like that older gentleman who had breakdown in his organs due to long time of alcoholism, or whether they pass away with an addiction, like that young gentleman I mentioned, who completed suicide and passed away with a gambling addiction. The way I understand it, is once we cross over to non physical, so when we're in a physical body, we're on the physical side and the physical world here on Earth. And immediately when our soul leaves the body, it's in the non physical, it's in the spirit world. But when someone passes away, of or with an addiction or a challenge, they're received in a way that's even more loving, even more healing, they have even more support on the other side, surrounding them to help them heal and understand to help them understand why they had that challenge and how it affected everyone else. And also to help them heal to a place where they really do fully understand. They're loved even more, they're supported even more, there's even more healing and help that rallies around them as they crossover. And there are experts guides, ancestors, angels on the other side experts in addiction that help them heal and understand even more. So I know that in some systems, we're taught that there's a bad place that people go to or like a negative in between place. And that's just not what I experienced as a medium. And I've talked to different teachers and mentors and other mediums. And most of us experienced that and understand that this way that they are actually
helped and loved. And there's even more compassion even more understanding, even more healing and support that surrounds them. So I find that helpful to share just because I know that when we have lost someone that is in addiction or have lost them from the addiction, we wonder like, Is there is there a punishment? Are they able to communicate the same way any other loved one is the answer is no. There's no punishment. There's love, there's compassion, there's healing. And yes, they're able to receive messages just like in that last episode, we talked about how loved ones received messages, how they can give messages, they can do all that to it's not a scar on their soul. Does it change their soul? Yes, of course, any life experience is added to the wisdom of our soul, whether it's an addiction or an illness or the birth of a child or a wonderful undertaking that we took in life all of it colors and adds to our soul, but it's not a scar in a negative way. It's a life experience that gives them deeper wisdom, deeper understanding. They absolutely know how you feel they absolutely do the life review where they go back and experience. Go back not exactly the right way to say it, but re experience all of the emotions that they created and other people so they do know every emotion they created in you they do know. For example, if you were up late at night worrying about them because no one knew where they were, they know that you felt like that they know that you were pining for them and praying for them. They are safe. They're right on the other side with everybody else. They're not in some segregated separate area, they're right with you only a heartbeat away is the way they say it, they absolutely would know, if there was a memorial and what was done, even if it was something very private, even if it wasn't public at all, even if it was a memorial, someone did in their own home with one candle, they know about it. They know where their loved ones are now and what's going on with them. They absolutely know what you're going through. And they do know what happened to them and why. So that's part of their healing. Part of all of our healing, when we cross over, quite honestly, is to understand the other emotions that we create in anyone in our life that we cross paths with, but also to understand what happened to us or with us, and why and why we made those choices and what other choices were available to us and how it affected everyone else. So they do know all of the things you're wondering if they know they do. And like I said, it doesn't make them sent into punishment in any way. It's not a scar on their soul in a negative way. But it's a learning experience that they then process from the other side, just like every other learning experience that we experience here. They're with you, they're able to be with you. Just a thought away just a heartbeat away just as any other loved one on the other side is it doesn't matter in that way, it doesn't matter how they passed, or if they passed in a challenging addiction. Or if they passed in a different way. It doesn't affect the way that the soul can communicate or the love and compassion and elevated understanding that that soul has. So I hope that this has opened your mind and heart I hope that this has helped you understand what happens when someone crosses over either from an addiction or with an addiction. They're loved just the same. And so are you. So let me know if you learn something from this episode. And if you feel like there's someone that you know, that has a loved one actively in addiction or who has struggled with addiction in the past, whether they're still in the physical world, or whether they've already transitioned over. If you feel like this episode would help them please share it with them. Because I know for with my work one of the biggest fears of my clients who come into my office or who I work with on Zoom, one of their biggest fears often is what happened to them. Are they okay, are they are they somewhere suffering because of the addiction or the choices or the way that they pass? And the answer is no, they're right with you. They can experience all the love your sending them and they receive love from the other side. So I hope this has helped you I'm so grateful for the time that we've shared today. And thank you for letting me share these stories with you. Big hug slots allow bye for now from inside, Spirit Speakeasy