Hey, beautiful souls! I am so excited to be here with you today.

Today I want to talk to you about a pattern that I've been seeing in some recent intuitive coaching sessions. I have clients' permission to share this, but I'm going to change some of the names and details, don't worry!. But really, the thing I want to talk about today is this question of "Are you unconsciously running a negative affirmation?"

So we know what affirmations are, right? We know that affirmations are are usually positive things that we say to ourselves to keep ourselves in a positive mindset so that we can be attracting the things that we want into our life & into our experience. But we also know that we have this subconscious and unconscious layers that can get programmed (or patterns or beliefs) that really just rise up that we might not even know that we are affirming to ourselves. And it can make such a huge difference. It can hold back the blessings that you say that you want, it can really stop the flow of abundance, it can shift the law of attraction to where you are attracting things that you don't want to experience because you have this unconscious or subconscious negative affirmation (or program) that's running in your space.

Now, much like a computer system that we think about our intelligence, our brain, our body runs "programs". These unconscious beliefs, patterns, habits, systems that we can change if we want, but we have to become conscious of them first, right? So I'm going to give you a couple examples. And then I want to know, if you want to share in the comments, I want to know from you how this resonates with you. If you want to share and I'm happy to do some coaching in the comments with you guys. Now, what is this unconscious "negative affirmation"  that I'm talking about? Well, you guys know on the positive affirmation side that we're attracting what we want to experience based on the energy, words, actions, motivation that we're putting out into the world, right? It's one of the reasons that we're always working to heal our emotions, our beliefs, and put ourselves in that direction of attracting what we want. So most of you who are members of the Joy's Soul Spa Facebook family, most of you know that I have a personal mantra, "everything's always working out for me". And when I'm in a good place, I can get to that mantra, that affirmation, very easily, right? But where is the way to know what is your unconscious negative program that you're running? When something hard happens? Where do you automatically go?

Now I'm going to give you a couple examples to make this a little more clear. These are just a couple of the clearest ways that I see it, but you'll hopefully be able to almost overlay this on to your own life and see how it's showing up for you. So I have a gal that I coach occasionally, let's call her "Kim". So Kim, is coaching around releasing relationships that show up in ways that are unhealthy and wanting to create healthy relationships, and meet the person that she wants to spend her life with as a romantic partner as a life partner. And one of the things that Kim is doing is meeting new people, going on dates, putting herself out there in a fun way.  We've done a lot of work to where she is in her experience and her day to day life, trying to create the vibe, the life, the energy, the emotion that she wants to match, right? So doing nice things for herself. And she's really been doing a lot of hard work on this and putting herself out there. So as she's continuing to put herself out there and going on dates, we have been coaching around some of the experiences that she's having. One thing that I noticed with this particular person is that when these dates happen, and they are I'm trying so hard not to use the word "bad", but not the most pleasant experiences, right?

So when she's coming in contact with a person, they're going on a date, they've been chatting, things are going well and then they go on a date and let's say this date in this case doesn't go so well. This person pretty clearly displays some really huge red flags and things that she's been really working hard to not attract anymore. So the next session she comes in, and the things I hear her saying are things like, "This is hopeless." "I'm never going to meet anyone." "This is ridiculous. I don't want to keep doing this, this is painful." "All the people that I'm meeting are unhealthy in some way. There's nobody out there for me, I just want to give up." Now, that's an extreme version, of course, because we have a long time to talk about it. But in your life, what you can start looking at is, when something tough happens, where immediately does that (some) younger version of us usually that's having what feels a little bit like a temper tantrum, even if it's just temporarily that's living inside there, Where do you go inside?

Now, I'm gonna give you a couple other examples that might help clarify this, or highlight maybe, where for you in your life this shows up or what your own negative unconscious program that you're running is. I'm going to talk about someone else, let's call him, "Ray". So Ray is someone that I'm ongoingly coaching with as well, doing intuitive coaching and helping to kind of find his path and find his joy in his life and create more of what he does want to experience. He has been working really hard in a second job to create more income to create more abundance, and eventually wants to turn that "side hustle" into a business. Now, last time I worked with Ray just so happens that several things went wrong on his primary vehicle, his truck, and he was so upset. And he was saying things like, "how come every time I get a little bit of extra money, something happens and it's all gone?" "This isn't fair. This isn't right." I see other people can get ahead but it seems like no matter what I do, it's one step forward and two steps back, I just can't win", "I just can't catch a break". So you can really see how, when Ray was in a little bit of a bind in a tough situation, immediately that younger version of him that wants to have "temper tantrum" emotions, is affirming all of those negative things, right? "I can't catch a break, I'm never going to succeed". What that usually goes down to is "I'm never going to be enough" or "I'm not enough". And that's what this person is unconsciously running as a "negative affirmation". running as an "unconscious program".

And I want to encourage you to think about in your own life when something tough happens. And it could be a trauma with a capital T, a really big, difficult thing. Or it could be something that is less significant on the scale of trauma, it could be something that just is more inconvenience. I'm going to give you one more example of someone else I was coaching with, it's a lovely gal, and I'm going call her "G" and G was experiencing some health challenges. And whenever I would check in with her, when we would have our regularly scheduled check ins, she would start the conversation with just saying how miserable she was with the care and treatment she was receiving, saying how she felt like no one was listening to her. She felt like she could never be heard. She felt like this was never going to be better. And with physical illness, of course, there are things that are actually happening in the body. And it's fair to name those things, feel the emotions around them and address them, right? I'm never going to be telling you not to feel your emotions, do the work, address them. So there is something to naming what's happening, if that's part of the work that works for you. But it's that running affirmation of "no one's ever going to help me", "no one's ever going to hear me", "no one's ever going to give me the care that I need". Right? And so with her, the coaching ended up to be more around speaking her truth to authority figures, doctors in this case, to clearly ask for what she needed. And some work around boundaries, and making sure she was getting what she needed.

For you in your space, if you don't already know what this negative pattern is that rises up for you in you, we all have it to some degree. Most of us that are doing this work are working on it to some degree. For me, you guys saw a couple of weeks ago, I did a little bit of a tough Live in our Joy's Soul Spa Facebook group around a challenge that I was experiencing. And for me, the unconscious negative affirmation that rises up is "I'm all alone in this. And it's not fair that I always have to do all the hard things by myself". Right? So that's this little bit of a negative belief that I still work to overcome. Now when I'm in a good place, of course, in my conscious mind I know I have friends, I have a support community. There are people I can turn to, I know how to get help, I have tools. But it's in our tough moments, the little patterns that pop up that we can identify where this unconscious negative program, negative affirmation,  negative pattern is. And then we can use that to work out some of these tough emotions and understand where that goes back to.

Usually, it's somewhere in our childhood, or in our history- in our past. It could even be similar to the way our family of origin processed things, or our community. You know, I joke and say that sometimes in my family of origin, expects, (especially with the extended family who's mostly in spirit now) when you call and say, "How are you?", they're just going to give you a list of all the things that are horrible in their life. It's unfortunate, but some people, culturally, situationally, are trained that that's what you do. So are you doing some version of that, even if it's unconscious at this point? If so, there's two things we can do, you can think back to the last time you had a crisis, big or small, and what's the negative thought pattern or affirmation that rose up for you. Or you can just be available as you go through the rest of this week, the next couple of weeks, for anything that feels challenging, or that kind of tips you off your balance of recognizing the truth of all sides of a situation. And what is that fire, that negative affirmation, that temper tantrum, that rises up in you? And that is the negative affirmation that you are personally running, that might be holding you back from calling in all of your abundance, right?

For me, I'm going to use my own example, if I have this unconscious pattern that I'm still working on that "I can't get the help I need", or "I have to do this all alone", in a way, energetically, I am resisting hope, because I'm affirming that it's not there, I don't have it, I can't get it, or some version of that. So you can see how these sneaky little negative thoughts, negative patterns,- it's usually old stuff that we might not even truly believe anymore. But if it is triggered, or if it bubbles up out of you, in a time when you're feeling challenged, or backed into a corner, it's still in there. And so you still have an opportunity to refine it, to investigate it to explore it to say, you know, "which version of me believes that?", "how old am I?", "when I hear myself saying, I don't have help with this, and I'm never gonna have help. And I'm on my own. what age of me is saying that? (is that today, is that two weeks ago, is that 10 year old me)". So that's one thing you can do. And you can also work to understand how that is holding you back, right? So you can do what I just explained to you guys, where you're just looking at, "Okay, are there areas I'm not getting the help I need?" And "how is this belief, this negative affirmation, continuing to hold that back for me" and working on the emotions around it.

So usually, there are some pretty tough emotions tied to a negative affirmation that we're still running. And we can just whittle down at those difficult emotions, either through journaling, if you have a therapist that you like working with that's a great way to do this work, through meditation, through I talked to you guys a lot about walking and receiving inspiration, but with the intention of understanding more deeply, this, these negative affirmations, these programs that we're running, even subconsciously or unconsciously, but they do tend to just pop right out when we're experiencing some kind of challenge that lights them up. Now, I'm gonna go back to that case with Ray when his truck was having all those problems. One of the things that I floated out to him in our session was, "Do you think that you could, instead of looking at this as though 'I never get a break, I got this little bit of money. And now it all has to go to my vehicle. And I'm so frustrated'. What if, instead of looking at it through that lens, you could shift to the perspective of 'I'm so grateful that I've been doing this extra work, because now I have this money to fix my vehicle. And it was a pretty large repair. And now I have the money to do it right away. I don't have to stress I can still pay all my bills, I have pretty close to exactly the amount I needed, what a blessing'," right? So there's different perspective to be had. But often we need to work those difficult emotions around that unconscious negative affirmation that we are running. Does this make sense to you guys? Do you know what I'm talking about when you have a really tough moment, and all of a sudden, all those patterns, programs, beliefs just pop right out of you?? I think you guys do know what I'm talking about. And hopefully my personal example made sense and the examples of the people in coaching that I gave made sense.

Let me know if you can identify your own unconscious negative affirmation that you're running and can you swap it out with something else? I'm curious to know. And a next level to that if you're a little bit advanced, I know that a lot of you in the Joy's Soul Spa Facebook group are advanced and doing this work this work on your emotions, on yourself, on your law of attraction and on living your best life. So if you can identify one of the unconscious negative affirmations that you're running, can you then start to whittle down at what emotion or belief is underneath of that, right? Because if we can get to that core belief, it's usually some version of the emotion of fear. So I believe that all things at the very basic level boil down to fear or love. And if it's not love, it's fear. So can you boil it down through either journaling, or meditation, or listening to other talks, or working with a therapist, or just going for a walk and being available for some of that to bubble up? Can you whittle down at what the primary emotion is underneath of that, and let's shift these unconscious negative affirmation so we can truly be in alignment and resonating with what we do want to call into our experience, so we can really move in the direction that we most intend.

I hope this is helpful for you guys, you know that we are closing out October and heading into the part of the year where we are really excavating some things within us. So I thought, let's start here. It's not a sexy topic, but it is so helpful in shifting us into the receiving mode that we actually want to receive instead of creating more of what we don't want to receive. So let me know what your unconscious negative affirmation is. You guys already know mine. And let's help each other through this together. Big hugs and lots of love. It is always great to be with you guys. And I will see you soon if you're not already on my Instagram hop over there! (IG @joyfulmedium) I have been popping on live more and doing little mini readings and things. So those are over there. And I will see you guys very very soon. Big hugs, lots of love and bye for now!